Words of wisdom: Don't try and start a blog in the middle of moving two lives across country...
more to come soon.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Happy Dance!
Update: We are going to Nebraska! Amy got the good word from her advisor who approved 30 more of her hours from TCC. This is a "good thing" a very good thing.
The movers are being called, houses being hunted and boxes packed! Some days we are so excited we could bust! We have been on this roller coaster of "almost" for several months now and it is beginning to get old. Actually it has been old for awhile ... The idea of Nebraska has been wearing when we are still in Texas living such a different life than what is to come. More on this soon ...
For now, I just wanted to get the word out that we again have donned our Big Red Husker's gear and our looking to become apart of Middle America!
Yee Haw! (do I still get to say "yee haw"?)
The movers are being called, houses being hunted and boxes packed! Some days we are so excited we could bust! We have been on this roller coaster of "almost" for several months now and it is beginning to get old. Actually it has been old for awhile ... The idea of Nebraska has been wearing when we are still in Texas living such a different life than what is to come. More on this soon ...
For now, I just wanted to get the word out that we again have donned our Big Red Husker's gear and our looking to become apart of Middle America!
Yee Haw! (do I still get to say "yee haw"?)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Beginnings
While roaming the streets of Omaha looking for our future home Amy and I had plenty of time to talk, laugh, stress and make up silly words to the many songs that we had stuck in our heads. Besides the hours spent babbling nonsense and arguing the advantages and disadvantages to the many Many houses we looked at we also decided that we would like to join the masses and create a blog about our journey that is Nebraska.
So here it is ... our attempt to make sense of all that is happening in our lives. Both together and separately we are very busy. So I thought I would start by giving a glimpse into where we are right now.
Amy is out of school for the summer and working full time as a nanny for a wonderful family. She is helping to raise two lovely children and keep a household afloat for two busy lawyers. E is a 10 yr old girl who has an active life that includes about 25 hours of diving practice and meets a week. T is 7(i think) and is a very lively young man who enjoys past times of baseball practice, riding his scooter while doing ballet poses and working hard to keep his missing front teeth from showing. Both E and T do a great job of putting a smile on Amy's face and making her laugh until her eyes water which I am most grateful for. I have met both on a few occasions and I must say they are a breath of fresh air for two kids growing up in todays world. They are polite, bright and extremely cute. I hope Amy will have more to share on these bright young souls later.
About a month ago Amy let the mother, D, know that she will be moving away at the end of summer to be with her girlfriend(moi) in Nebraska. This is huge on many levels: First, in the business of nannying there is no job security should you turn in your notice. If they find someone that works with the hours they need and they can start today then you are out of a job yesterday. Second, Amy had not yet come out to her nanny family. There is still the fear that people will think that you, as a lesbian will somehow infect their children with your dikeness and no one wants that! But in another example of the greatness of these people it was a non-issue ... the lesbian part that is. As for her leaving, they were very saddened and have offered a few kind hearted bribes to try and keep her here in Texas. She keeps turning them down ... I say a little prayer each night she continues to.
Telling the parents that she was in a relationship with a woman went so well that their mother wants Amy to tell the kids ... wow ... OK ...really? Neither Amy nor myself have ever outed ourselves to kids. I have been out around kids, but someone else has always been the one opening the closet door. I don't really feel it is my place to make someone else's child aware of the many quirks in human sexuality and have not put much thought in to it. With that said, we are still figuring out how to best do this and when. Until that happens I think we are trying to find opportunities for all of us to spend time together so they can get to know me and hopefully like me. Maybe this will make it easier ... maybe they just won't care. Either way, Amy and I will both learn a little something about the understanding and interest young minds have for such things.
Amy is also in the process of getting transferred to University of Nebraska in Omaha. This started out seeming so easy. But alas, nothing ever is these days... In addition to moving across country to be with me and support me in this career move, Amy is having to change her major as UNO does not offer a BFA in Photography. Education is now her calling ... well at least in Nebraska it is. The combination of major and state changes have caused her to lose about 80% of her hours. Adding around four years to her college career. This is something that is just not possible for her to do for personal and professional reasons. As you can imagine I am running around trying to find every solution possible to this problem. If anyone reading this has a connection at UNO and would like to lend a helping hand ... lend away! Otherwise, it seems we will not be going to Omaha and I will be looking for a new job. Resume revisions are already in the process.
As for me, I am not sure if I have ever felt more overwhelmed and inept by my job. Work is busy with new accounting systems to learn and put into action, 3 day corporate inspections, and events that bring 250 women into the restaurant to drink and dine in between cackles of laughter that can bring one to their knees. Each day as I get dressed I constantly wonder what the day will bring that I have no idea how to fix. Every night as I turn out the lights and lock the door I glance back and apologize for my lack of enthusiasm and follow through on the day's tasks. If I look at my performance on paper I am at the top of my game. If I let my heart tell me where I stand I am lost and lacking in confidence. I do not understand the human spirit and perception of self-value. I know that this too shall pass, so I keep trudging and wait for the day that brings a sense of accomplishment. Maybe I will always be waiting ... or maybe I will begin to trust myself a little more and realise that stress for the sake of defeating one's self is pointless and without value.
I have learned a great deal about confidence in the past ten years of my life. As I walk up on the age of 30, I have the sense that this lesson is just beginning for me. I am eager to pay attention and grow. This is the thought that keeps me smiling and looking around the corner at what is next to come.
There is so much more to share about where we are in this journey and even more to come I am sure. For now, I am trying to be content with not knowing where my professional life is headed. I have a pretty darn good life and I want to enjoy it while it is here. Amy continues to make me smile and I know I am loved. As long as I can do the same for her, I know we will make it through all the changes that are headed our way.
So here it is ... our attempt to make sense of all that is happening in our lives. Both together and separately we are very busy. So I thought I would start by giving a glimpse into where we are right now.
Amy is out of school for the summer and working full time as a nanny for a wonderful family. She is helping to raise two lovely children and keep a household afloat for two busy lawyers. E is a 10 yr old girl who has an active life that includes about 25 hours of diving practice and meets a week. T is 7(i think) and is a very lively young man who enjoys past times of baseball practice, riding his scooter while doing ballet poses and working hard to keep his missing front teeth from showing. Both E and T do a great job of putting a smile on Amy's face and making her laugh until her eyes water which I am most grateful for. I have met both on a few occasions and I must say they are a breath of fresh air for two kids growing up in todays world. They are polite, bright and extremely cute. I hope Amy will have more to share on these bright young souls later.
About a month ago Amy let the mother, D, know that she will be moving away at the end of summer to be with her girlfriend(moi) in Nebraska. This is huge on many levels: First, in the business of nannying there is no job security should you turn in your notice. If they find someone that works with the hours they need and they can start today then you are out of a job yesterday. Second, Amy had not yet come out to her nanny family. There is still the fear that people will think that you, as a lesbian will somehow infect their children with your dikeness and no one wants that! But in another example of the greatness of these people it was a non-issue ... the lesbian part that is. As for her leaving, they were very saddened and have offered a few kind hearted bribes to try and keep her here in Texas. She keeps turning them down ... I say a little prayer each night she continues to.
Telling the parents that she was in a relationship with a woman went so well that their mother wants Amy to tell the kids ... wow ... OK ...really? Neither Amy nor myself have ever outed ourselves to kids. I have been out around kids, but someone else has always been the one opening the closet door. I don't really feel it is my place to make someone else's child aware of the many quirks in human sexuality and have not put much thought in to it. With that said, we are still figuring out how to best do this and when. Until that happens I think we are trying to find opportunities for all of us to spend time together so they can get to know me and hopefully like me. Maybe this will make it easier ... maybe they just won't care. Either way, Amy and I will both learn a little something about the understanding and interest young minds have for such things.
Amy is also in the process of getting transferred to University of Nebraska in Omaha. This started out seeming so easy. But alas, nothing ever is these days... In addition to moving across country to be with me and support me in this career move, Amy is having to change her major as UNO does not offer a BFA in Photography. Education is now her calling ... well at least in Nebraska it is. The combination of major and state changes have caused her to lose about 80% of her hours. Adding around four years to her college career. This is something that is just not possible for her to do for personal and professional reasons. As you can imagine I am running around trying to find every solution possible to this problem. If anyone reading this has a connection at UNO and would like to lend a helping hand ... lend away! Otherwise, it seems we will not be going to Omaha and I will be looking for a new job. Resume revisions are already in the process.
As for me, I am not sure if I have ever felt more overwhelmed and inept by my job. Work is busy with new accounting systems to learn and put into action, 3 day corporate inspections, and events that bring 250 women into the restaurant to drink and dine in between cackles of laughter that can bring one to their knees. Each day as I get dressed I constantly wonder what the day will bring that I have no idea how to fix. Every night as I turn out the lights and lock the door I glance back and apologize for my lack of enthusiasm and follow through on the day's tasks. If I look at my performance on paper I am at the top of my game. If I let my heart tell me where I stand I am lost and lacking in confidence. I do not understand the human spirit and perception of self-value. I know that this too shall pass, so I keep trudging and wait for the day that brings a sense of accomplishment. Maybe I will always be waiting ... or maybe I will begin to trust myself a little more and realise that stress for the sake of defeating one's self is pointless and without value.
I have learned a great deal about confidence in the past ten years of my life. As I walk up on the age of 30, I have the sense that this lesson is just beginning for me. I am eager to pay attention and grow. This is the thought that keeps me smiling and looking around the corner at what is next to come.
There is so much more to share about where we are in this journey and even more to come I am sure. For now, I am trying to be content with not knowing where my professional life is headed. I have a pretty darn good life and I want to enjoy it while it is here. Amy continues to make me smile and I know I am loved. As long as I can do the same for her, I know we will make it through all the changes that are headed our way.
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